Bold, insecure, starving country threatens nuclear armagedon

North Korea at night, viewed from space
North Korea at night, viewed from space

North Korea, the hermit communist kingdom grabbed world attention today with a bold statement aimed at grabbing world attention.

Next to a popular propaganda poster which shows a missile hitting what looks like Capitol Hill, the North Korean National Defense Commission, the country’s highest military body, released the long range statement without prior warning today, stating among other things that: its missile and nuclear programs would “target” the United States in a “new phase of the anti-U.S. struggle.”

The White House responded to the North Korean declaration by declaring it was “needlessly provocative.” Jay Carney, the White House press secretary, told reporters that “further provocations would only increase Pyongyang’s isolation, which in turn would cause the world paying less and less attention to them, which in turn would cause such provocative statements in the future to grab less and less of the attention they are seeking” a variant of the line the White House has used every time the North has issued a threat, launched a missile, or revealed a new nuclear facility.

“The world is now looking for positive news from North Korea, like for example news that the country’s new and untested leader, Kim Jong-un, may have decided to go on a hunger strike. That kind of news would certainly be more welcome and would grab much more world attention than the aforementioned statement,” stated the rest of the White House response.

Let’s hope the young Mr. Kim will listen to our advice this time around.

The attention seeking fat-ass who happens to own a nuclear armed nation
The attention seeking fat-ass who happens to own a nuclear armed nation
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