The likelihood of the world’s 8 billionth person being born very rich very slim, researchers say

Screen Shot 2015-04-18 at 10.54.03 PMA new study suggests that more people are born into poverty than ever before, with the world population set to reach another milestone, 8 billion people.

“Yep, ” admitted one of the people involved in the study, “there are many suckers being born every moment. The moment for the 8 billionth sucker is approaching fast. Poor sucker.”

“With rich people procreating less and less while the poor multitude multiplying more and more, it is clear that more are more are not born with a silver spoon in the mouth, or any kind of spoon for that matter. ”

While the world has reason to celebrate when someone is born rich, like the children of celebrities for example, there is little reason to rejoice at the birth of another butt-naked creature condemned to a penniless existence.

There are many things this broke bipedal naked monkey will be able to do in life, but living a normal life is not one of them – pointed out the researchers. Such a creature may entertain strong religious beliefs, grow criminal of extremist tendencies, but will never in their lifetime buy a yacht, private airplane or even a sports car.

They are doomed.

As of press time the world population stood at 7,309,136,813 and counting.

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